Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Pondering..........

Why am I going through all this? Doing the same things that I hated all my life...the sheer nonsensical rituals and tradition that I always opposed.. I am falling for all those things. Why am I doing this and for whom? Was I born for this day only? To go through the same mental torture which I vowed that I would never let it happen to me..where is that rebel, that revolutionary gone from me? Or have I mellowed down so much that this things have stopped pushing me? Why so? Is it no longer the feeling of self-identity that I nurtured since my childhood? I had never thought that something like this would happen to me...that I would never follow the same beaten, trampled, trodden path of traditions. But see, I am doing the same things and letting all those things happen to me that I always despised. Why? Don't I have the guts to say no? And to be able to stand tall with my head high and bear the burnt of the society norms. I am in dilemma...God! Please show me the light!
I don't want to live like a face among the crowd. I don’t want to die a nameless, aimless death. Nobody...litterally..NOBODY has the right to interfere with my personal and professional growth. As cliché it may sound. but yes freedom is my right and nobody should dare challenge or try to unnecessary step on that line of freedom.
I vow to myself that whatever comes...I will always remain myself. Nobody can change anything that’s mine. Be it my name, my identity, my personal freedom, my professional growth, my interests, my mindset, my values and attitudes. The day I feel stifled, I vow to myself, I will move out. No other option will do because there is no space being left for me to compromise on any situation.