Longing

From dream to dramatic, that's how I will describe my 2016. It was a glorious, adventurous, full of uncertainties and a transitional year for me. While watching the last sunset of the year, I felt as if the whole year flashed through my eyes. In the gleaming rays of Sun, I can see the reflection of my own bright moments, in the darkening of the clouds I can visualize when I was gloomy and depressed.
Having to deal with reverse culture shock of coming back to my own country after spending more then three beautiful years of living a peaceful and free existence, shook the core of our well-being as a family not because we came back to the same country where we opened our eyes, took our first step or uttered our first words but because it is deteriorating gradually. Here, if you don't conform to the set rules and regulations then you don't belong here and if you don't belong here then people are quick to judge and lable you.
I long for the place which we called home all these years, where my younger one took his first breath. The faces that we can never forget, the people that were once a part of our daily life. The routine, the lifestyle that I was accustomed to and the views that my eyes might have taken for granted at times, I left a part of our heart behind. And when I remember those lazy lunches with friends, those long walks alone, myriad hues of unpredictable weather, trees coming to life in spring with new colors and happiness vibes but ready to shed off as soon as the fall hits and standing naked baring their soul.
I am filled with nostalgia and a deep longing and desire to be there, stand on that street, bask in the afternoon warmth. I want to say hello to that shopkeeper who always greeted me with a smile, the cleaning lady ready for the day with her lips painted fiery red exactly opposite color of winter Sun, the taxi driver trying to do small talk in his best English, friendly, ever-smiling and always helpful strangers. I am yearning the moments of  using google translate endlessly, the struggles of online shopping, figuring out the food content with the picture on the packaging, plethora of smells, sights and shops. I miss it all!
Was it a dream? Was I hallucinating? Did the last Sun of 2016 already set? Then, I heard a soft giggle, some heartfelt laughter, a loud shriek of achievement by two little kids having able to build a house with concrete, stones, mud and sticks.
It's already dark and people are celebrating as if there is no tomorrow. Sun has done its work for the day with a promise to rise and shine on the first day of 2017 and everyday thereafter. As I shrug off the dirt on my clothes and look at the darkened hills up there beckoning one and all with open arms, I get nudged and brought back to the reality, 'Mommy, it's time to go home.’

Terrorism and Hope for Peace

I am writing this as a concerned mother of two. In the aftermath of Paris attack, the immediate thought haunting my mind; is this is the world we are making for our kids? The attack brought into attention Beirut, Baghdad, Syria and other countries reeling with the Terror effect. I am ashamed to admit that when I read the news of any terrorist activities in Arab countries, I hardly try to get in the details of the news dismissing this as a part of their daily struggle. Things changed after this Friday the 13th as the terrorism, ISIS related news and articles formed the huge chunk of my news feed and a larger part of discourse as well. It made me sit and take notice and delve deeper into the subject. As I was reading about Syria crisis, (though Arab Spring was a part of assignment I did together with my students of Mass Comm way back in 2011) I was shattered by the images of refugees, almost 50% of whom are kids. Kids, the future and hope of a better and improved world are left without any family members and friends alive, they are forced to live a homeless, education less orphaned life. I looked at my children and shuddered at the thought of having them to live such a life, if something happens to us and this is not an unfathomable reality considering what the world is going through at the moment. Any zealous fanatic in the name of religion, God whatsoever can do that. 

France and Syria might be on the opposite end of a spectrum in terms of the countries they are but the tragedies incurred are the same in terms of innocent lives lost. In between, there may be issues like Oil, Ammunition, Propaganda and Religious Extremism involved but the bitter question is how will that family less, homeless child be able to get its innocent, carefree childhood back? 

As I go through the daily rituals of taking care of my kids-sending them to school, preparing hot meals for them and safely tucking them into the security and warmth of their own beds, I think of those children faraway, did they get something to eat? Are they sleeping well? What is the hope for them to live? I don't have the answers and I am scared about the future of my kids and all the children worldwide. Is this the hope and vision of the world we want to build for them? 

The basic premise of 'all of us are born equal' that I try to teach them perhaps exists in my Utopian world. The discrimination of the people based on gender, color, race, religion and caste may be far fetched reality for them now but sooner or later they may experience it and the idea of an ideal world would shatter into million pieces. Do I want them to grow up in the global environment of violence, hatred and 'eye for an eye' attitude. We, as the citizens of this world share a collective responsibility to make it a beautiful place for our children. We are sailing in the same boat. Can't we give peace a chance for the sake of our future generation or is it too much to ask for?

For further reading: http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-war-on-syria-the-major-political-players-humanitarian-crisis/5473168
http://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2015/feb/16/situation-syria-is-going-to-get-worse-melissa-fleming-united-nations
https://www.jacobinmag.com/2015/11/paris-attacks-bataclan-hollande-beirut/

Being a Mother

We all play various roles in our lifetime bearing different shades of emotions but the most crucial, difficult and demanding role in the life of a woman starts when she becomes a mother. In fact, the life of a woman can clearly be divided into two parts-pre-motherhood and post motherhood era. And, no girl in the pre-motherhood era can envisage what is in store for her on the other side because as every child is different and so is every mother. She can learn from the examples but the reality hits when she enters the battlefield or in this case she decides to be a mother. 

There are numerous physical and psychological changes which starts taking place as soon as a woman becomes pregnant. Though she is showered with all the affection and care during the pregnancy phase but when the baby enters the world, the needs and desires of the woman take a backseat while baby's needs take precedence. Basic functions like showering and eating have to be readjusted to match with baby's nap time. The social circle is restricted to other parents and baby's doctor. In totality, the baby starts to run the show and parents especially mother is just a player at the mercy of mighty director. The babies don't come with a rule book and every mother goes through waves of self doubts whether she is doing the job properly or not. There is a lot of learning involved along the way which is free by the way!

First and foremost thing that any mother learns with the child is patience and self control. A great deal of patience is required when after trying for two hours the baby still doesn't want to sleep. Lots of self control is needed when a three year old insists on buying a toy in the supermarket and on being declined, starts crying nonstop lying on the floor, when a four year old doesn't like the meal, mother has cooked so painstakingly. Overall, a lot of self control and patience is required to deal with kids in day to day situations.

Expected the unexpected-this is another important lesson of parenting. Things will never go as prepared and according to the set plan. All the vacation planning may backfire when a child falls sick or you may get late for a movie or dinner when the kid wants a toilet break as you are about to leave the house. In short, do your best but be prepared for the worst.

Listening also becomes very crucial when the child starts to speak. There are infinite number of questions which mother has to answer on a daily basis. Right from, why does water make us wet and why do I have a baby brother to why is Shahrukh Khan's tummy different from my tummy (six pack abs!), there is no end to the stream of questions and every question is damn important and critical for the little inquisitive mind. The mother not only has to listen to each question carefully but also give an answer to satisfy the kid's curiosity. For instance, I remember watching a movie with my first one and he asks me where are the hero’s mommy and daddy. I said, they don’t live with him. He asks me, why? I said, ‘as anyone grows up, he/she has to leave the parents house to go for college or work. You will also leave us one day’. On hearing this, my son started crying that he will never leave his Mommy. He will always stay together with me. I felt sudden surge of emotions hearing his words.

Kids bring a lot of fresh energy and different perspective in our lives as well. Though with them each and every moment is an experience in itself; from the first toothless smile , first baby steps to first words and then later on those full blown arguments but some moments are really special. Its really touching when he waits for his father to come home to have dinner with him howsoever late it may be. His random acts of kindness and sharing towards his classmates and strangers alike fill me with complete joy and pride.

With my younger one, there are no specific moment as such because he is just fifteen months but his birth will always be cherished in my heart. He was born in South Korea faraway from family and friends. When you are in your own country you have all the support and you know everything so things become lot easier. It is when you are away from the support system, living on your own then you realize your true potential. This is what happened when our second one was born. With no one from the family around us, we struggled and learned along the way. In that sense, my boy is absolutely cool, calm and collected not giving us much trouble since he was born. 

Going through all these experiences everyday without fail, a mother becomes a great manager, perfect negotiator, good policy maker and an effective communicator. Yes, motherhood is no easy job and bosses are difficult at time but they give loveliest of hugs and kisses which makes the job worthwhile.

Gujarati version of this article appears on
http://www.khabarchhe.com/magazine/complexity-of-motherhood/

तलाश

सागर किनारे
रेत की नम भूमि पर
नंगे पाँव चलते, शंख बीनते, घरोंदे बनाते,
चला जाता हूँ मैं,
मैं उस क्षितिझ की खोज में, जो शायद ही मुझे कभी छू पायेगा,
या मैं उसे पा लूँगा, हाथ बढाकर,
हाँ, इससे ज्यादा मैं क्या कर सकता हूँ.
ज़िन्दगी के हर पड़ाव पर रुकता रहा हूँ,
कभी थका, कभी किसी का हाथ थामा, पकड़ा
कुछ दूर जाकर छोड़ दिया...
पर ख़त्म न हुई मेरी तलाश
क्या कभी बुझेगी ये प्यास?
शायद मेरे जाने के बाद !

माँ

माँ को समर्पित दो रचनाए....

बेसन की सोंधी रोटी पर-निदा फ़ाज़ली

बेसन की सोंधी रोटी पर
खट्टी चटनी जैसी माँ
याद आती है चौका-बासन
चिमटा फुकनी जैसी माँ
बाँस की खुर्री खाट के ऊपर
हर आहट पर कान धरे
आधी सोई आधी जागी
थकी दोपहरी जैसी माँ
चिड़ियों के चहकार में गूंजे
राधा-मोहन अली-अली
मुर्ग़े की आवाज़ से खुलती
घर की कुंडी जैसी माँ
बिवी, बेटी, बहन, पड़ोसन
थोड़ी थोड़ी सी सब में
दिन भर इक रस्सी के ऊपर
चलती नटनी जैसी माँ
बाँट के अपना चेहरा, माथा,
आँखें जाने कहाँ गई
फटे पुराने इक अलबम में
चंचल लड़की जैसी माँ

माँ के लिए सम्भव नहीं होगी मुझसे कविता-चंद्रकांत देवताले

अमर चिऊँटियों का एक दस्ता मेरे मस्तिष्क में रेंगता रहता है
माँ वहाँ हर रोज़ चुटकी-दो-चुटकी आटा डाल देती है
मैं जब भी सोचना शुरू करता हूँ
यह किस तरह होता होगा
घट्टी पीसने की आवाज़ मुझे घेरने लगती है
और मैं बैठे-बैठे दूसरी दुनिया में ऊँघने लगता हूँ
जब कोई भी माँ छिलके उतार कर
चने, मूँगफली या मटर के दाने नन्हीं हथेलियों पर रख देती है
तब मेरे हाथ अपनी जगह पर थरथराने लगते हैं
माँ ने हर चीज़ के छिलके उतारे मेरे लिए
देह, आत्मा, आग और पानी तक के छिलके उतारे
और मुझे कभी भूखा नहीं सोने दिया
मैंने धरती पर कविता लिखी है
चन्द्रमा को गिटार में बदला है
समुद्र को शेर की तरह आकाश के पिंजरे में खड़ा कर दिया
सूरज पर कभी भी कविता लिख दूँगा
माँ पर नहीं लिख सकता कविता !

उड़ जायेगा हंस अकेला

उड़ जायेगा उड़ जायेगा
उड़ जायेगा हंस अकेला
जग दर्शन का मेला
जैसे पात गिरे तरुवर पे
मिलना बहुत दुहेला
ना जाने किधर गिरेगा
ना जानूं किधर गिरेगा
गगया पवन का रेला
जब होवे उमर पूरी
जब छूटे गा हुकुम हुज़ूरी
यम् के दूत बड़े मज़बूत
यम् से पडा झमेला
दास कबीर हर के गुण गावे
वाह हर को पारण पावे
गुरु की करनी गुरु जायेगा
चेले की करनी चेला

Prayer for 2011

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist,
your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist,
your proctologist, your podiatrist, your
psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and
your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your
triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count
and your mortgage interest not rise.

May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table,
together with your beloved family and cherished friends.
May you find the food better, the environment quieter,
the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure more fulfilling
than anything else you might ordinarily do that night

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what
others see in you delight them. May someone love you
enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your
blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls
until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not
be louder than the program you have been watching,
and may your check book and your budget balance
- and include generous amounts for charity

May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a
day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your
siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your
masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor

And may we live in a world at peace and with the
awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's
unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss,
and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.


(Beautiful lines sourced from net)

It happens only in India

On one hand Indian-American Nikki Hailey is making wave with her win as Governer of South Carolina, there's one interesting piece of news from a small village in Auriayya, a district of Uttar Pradesh. Bhupendra, whose first wife Sunita died two years back, let his second wife Nema Devi contest Panchayat elections in the name of his first wife, Sunita. Nema Devi not only contested but also won the polls. There is no identity proof of Nema Devi and Bhupendra says that she is Sunita but the villagers are saying otherwise.
Read for details
http://in.jagran.yahoo.com/epaper/index.php?location=30&edition=2010-11-04

World Teacher's Day

Teacher's day is celebrated on every 5th of Sept in our country but World Teacher's Day falls on 5th of October. This day was created by UNESCO to mobilize support for teachers and to ensure the positive role of teachers in building future generations. In this era of information boom, teachers have a pivotal role to play in the society. With Internet, playing negative and positive roles in the learning process, teachers have to guide, motivate and pave the way for the students to follow the path of righteousness. Teaching is considered as the most noblest of all professions and students are real-time assets of a teacher. The role of the teacher is to create an understanding and awareness among the students to be able to take the right decisions and to believe in oneself with full conviction.

Animals, who?

We have a tendency to specify days for pertinent issues and then forget about them for the whole year. 4th of October was World Animals Day which went by largely unnoticed because there was hardly any media coverage. Sample these facts sourced from International Union for Conservation of Nature:
# 17,291 species out of 47,677 so far assessed are threatened with extinction
# Of the world’s 5,490 mammals, 79 are Extinct or Extinct in the Wild, with 188 Critically Endangered, 449 Endangered and 505 Vulnerable.
# 1,895 of the planet’s 6,285 amphibians are in danger of extinction, making them the most threatened group of species known to date.
The world nature cannot support the pressure, we human beings are putting on it. Consequently, the rate of species extinction is 1,000 times higher than natural rate.
Discussing climatic changes over coffee is the latest fad and global warming is the new buzz word, but sustainable efforts towards animals, preservation of their natural habitat are required to create ecological balance. Or Tiger tiger, burning bright, in the forests of the night; would be a difficult poem for the coming generations to understand and imagine.

जानवर

जब इंसान की जान की कीमत इतनी सस्ती हो, तब उस जानवर की क्या बिसात...
बेचारा बेजुबान अपना दुखड़ा रोये भी तो किससे
उसे तो सिर्फ प्यार और सहारे की आस थी
और चाहिए था सर छुपाने के लिए जंगल
पर इंसानी लालच और भूख ने उसे कहीं का न छोड़ा
बना दिया दरिंदगी का शिकार
और ख़त्म कर दिया उसका नामो-निशाँ